The Importance of Self-love and Finding It

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Self Love - the state of loving and appreciating one’s self.

Finding love within yourself is extremely important, and not loving yourself can only hurt you in the end. As college students, we often find ourselves looking for love, attention, and support from elsewhere, but we don’t focus on loving ourselves enough. It is understandable that love and support from others are extremely important to most since most of us are now on our own and away from family.

I’m not going to get too personal, but my past experiences with relationships, friendships, and school showed me how low one can get without self-love. There were times I was mad with myself because I wasn’t making the grades I had the potential to make, my relationship was falling apart, I was far from home, and at one point I didn’t have any friends at school, so I always felt lonely. I blamed myself for all of these problems, as most people would if they were in my shoes. I began to look for happiness and love from my ex-boyfriend(who was over 500 miles away), because of the loneliness I felt and the guilt I put on myself for not making the grades I wanted. I was confused as to why I was so focused on him loving me, being that I have an extremely loving and supportive family. 

Our breakup was a huge wake-up call for me. I realized wasn’t taking care of myself like I should have, I gained a ton of weight, and my skin was in shambles. I felt like I loved myself, but did I really if I allowed myself to get that low? The answer is I thought I did, but I just didn’t love myself enough. I was just distracted. Even with all the things I was going through and even with blaming myself for those things, I still loved myself very much, I just got off track. Accepting your flaws and taking responsibility for your life and actions are both factors of having self-love.

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Here are a few the steps I took to loving myself to the max:  

1. Accepting your failures, forgiving myself, and growing

It is important that you accept negative feelings, accept flaws, and recognize your failures. Failing to do so can lead to built up anger, anxiety, depression, etc because you're trying to ignore the issue or you're either beating yourself up about it. 

2. Relaxation and practicing self-care:

Ex. Drinking more water, warm bubble baths, exercising, and taking care of skin

3. Started living care-free and focusing on what's best for me. 

Be unapologetic. Many people think putting yourself first is selfish. I disagree. Do what's best for yourself, regardless of how it may make others feel. 

4. Encourage yourself and speak your actions to existence.

This is pretty self-explanatory. Set goals and work towards that goal, but also remember that patience is key. 

5. Be patient, kind, and gentle with yourself. 

In addition those steps, after finding the self-love I was lacking, I surrounded myself with positive people and dropped the negative ones. I no longer apologize for putting my happiness, before others. I always focused on trying to please others(which is okay), but I was neglecting myself and ended up feeling more hurt when those people were unappreciative. 

Self-love is the best medication for healing a broken heart. Self-love is the greatest love of all.